Selfish Full English Novel/Short Story || Latest Romantic Short Story/Novel
Selfish
Chapter 1
"Joana, who's singing by the way?"
"I guess a new student, just transferred his credit recently in our department ! He was coming out from the principal's room today with Namsoon. He told me by the way."
"You get all the news right away Joan!", she chuckled. " His voice is very soothing, like a gentle breeze."
"Hmm...Zian, let's go. It’s time for lunch."
They headed towards canteen.
The next morning Zian and Joana were sitting on the first row. Though Seoul university is one of the hyped one but few students are in literature department.
"Excuse me! May I sit over here?", the guy put a smile and was standing next to Zian.
" Umm, yeah, sure!", Zian moved herself a little towards Joana and let him sit.
"Thanks!", he took the seat and introduced himself, " By the way, hi! I'm Kim Jongdae. Just transferred here yesterday."
Zian nodded a little towards his direction, "Hi! I'm Jung Zian. Nice to meet you! "
"And I'm Chae Joana. Her friend!" Joana smiled at him.
"Nice to meet you both." Jongdae smiled towards them.
"So, you're here on your last year, for any good reason?", Joana asked him.
"Actually my dad had to shift here for his job purpose, and I'm a homesick person,so I shifted here along with my parents."
"So, where are you from?" Joana kept asking him.
"From Busan. And are you both from here?"
"Yeah, we're from here!"
"Joan, give him a break! I'm sorry. She's just like this! Don't mind her. Hope you’ll have a great time here." Zian spoke finally.
"No it's fine. After all we're classmates." Jongdae assured her.
"Joan! Don't pout now!", Zian caressed on her back as Joana was literally pouting.
And Jongdae became surprised!
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To be continued...
Selfish
Chapter- 2
Zian was sitting on a bench and was reciting a poem by herself.
["World In A Hut"
She was a little girl
Her world was very small
A hut was nearby
For her to rest a while.
The hut had magic world
That kept her getting called
And the butterflies flying around
Cotton clouds were floating, found.
She rides on one of them
And leaves for now and then.
Where summer meets winter,
Her pile of dreams gets higher.
When it's time for coming out
The pitch road keeps calling out.
She trips and gets some cut
And cries for leaving the hut.
The lifeless road seems so long
She keeps cursing herself for every wrong,
The hut keeps calling back,
She just keeps looking back!
She was a little girl
Her world was very small
A hut was nearby
For her to rest a while..]
And then she sighed!
"Wow! That was really great!" Jongdae was standing behind the tree where the bench was.
"Oh, hi! Ah, it's nothing! I just love to read, so just like casually I read it!"
Zian felt a little shy.
"No, you were amazing! The intonation in your voice was very synced to the poem. By the way, who wrote it?"
"Umm..some anonymous. And thanks for your kind words." she smiled and closed the book she was holding.
"It was beautiful! "
"It's my favourite!”, she smiled, "And you sing really well!", Zian threw her compliment towards Jongdae.
"Ah! Come on! It's nothing.", Jongdae smiled, scratching his neck being shy, "but when did you hear me out?"
"Umm..I guess the day before you joined the class!"
"Oh I see! I just love singing, so whenever I get a little time, I start playing with my guitar."
"Wow! That's great. You should sing more! I think I should call you Mr.singer!", Zian giggled.
Jongdae was looking at her being amazed without her acknowledgement.
"So, how long have you been in this, I mean reading books?"
"Ah, you mean brail?" Zian held the book securely,that was placed on her knees.
"I'm.. I'm really sorry if I've offended you.", Jongdae started feeling guilty.
"Oh no! Not at all. Actually I started it from the end of last year."she smiled awkwardly.
"May I know what happened? ", Jongdae tried to sound softer.
" Ahh.. I met an accident last year and lost my sight. But don't talk about it in front of Joana, please!", Zian requested to him.
"Ok, I won't! " though he found himself clueless, "you girls are best friends, right? You could even tell what face she had made the other day!", Jongdae smiled.
"Only best friend? She's my gurdian angel! You don't know.." Joana interrupted between them while coming back with a water bottle but Zian made her stop and changed the topic,
"Joan! I'm hungry! Let's go to the canteen."
"I told you to go with me at first place. You don't listen to me Zian! Let's go!"
Zian searched for her cane and Jongdae handed it over to her.
"Didn't I tell you that I hate this thing in your hand Zian? Hold my hand!”, so Zian interlocked her fingers with her while Joana continued again, "Let's go to canteen, Jongdae! It's been one month of yours being here but seems you don't have much friends to hang around."
Jongdae laughed and joined with them.
A few months passed away.
Literature club was planning to stage a play. So students were welcomed to participate. They needed a backstage vocal to sing for background music and a backstage vocal for story telling.
Joana got very excited and she pushed both of Jongdae and Zian to give it a go!
Jongdae wanted to give it a thought whereas Zian wasn’t interested. So Joana started whining.
"Why Zian, I mean why? Your voice is so perfect for this and people like your voice. So why don't you try for once? And there will be rehearsals, so you don’t need to worry. Please! "
"If I said No, so it's a No Joan! Please!", Zian seemed so lost.
Jongdae kept silence as both of the girls were in an arguement!
"This was just a piece of cake to you Zian, I know it better. But why are you sliding off now?", Joana kept trying her best to persuade her.
" Because, I'm not that confident anymore, Joan! Please try to understand! ",Zian's voice cracked!
Joana bit her lips and then spoke, " It's all my fault, Zian! I'm really sorry. No, even sorry is not enough when I, myself ruined your life!", Joana was trying hard to hold her tears before leaving the room.
"Joan, please!", Zian called out for her, but Joana left already.
Jongdae became so blank that he couldn’t manage what to say.
He made Zian seated, caressed on her hand and left to find out Joana.
Zian kept cursing herself, at the corner of their class room, wiping off her tears.
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To be continued..
Selfish
Chapter 3
Fan Fiction
Selfish
Jongdae was searching for Joana. Finally he found her at the corner of the basketball ground.
He went near to her and sat beside her. She was sobbing and Jongdae handed tissue to her. She managed herself and got a grip on her emotion.
"You know what, I just want her to be as normal as she can, I wanted her to be active like before. Well she might not, but she should give it a try!", tears started forming again into her eyes.
Jongdae patted on her shoulder, remaining silence.
And she shared their story..
Basically Joana and Zian are childhood best friends. Their fathers were friends and business partners as well. But in a plane crash Zian's parents died while she was staying back for her high school exam. And then Joana's father, Mr. Chae became her father figure and Zian started living with them.
Last year while going back home aftrer class, they stopped by a restaurant for lunch. And when they came out, waiting for their car to arrive, they went through a rash car driving incident. The car was at such a speed that it was about to hit Joana. But Zian stepped in to push away Joana. And unfortunately, couldn't save herself! And it wasn't possible to get her eyesight back, because the tissues were badly damaged.
Zian has been a bright student always, and was about to pursue her career in abroad. And things happened!
" I felt so guilty that it took me a lot to face her.", Joana bit her lip, "And from then I stick to her like her shadow and I hate that cane in her hand!
Damn! All I wanted her to be happy, how she used to be in such cultural events! But I ended up hurting her! ", she covered her face in between her palms.
Jongdae patted on her back and assured, " I'll take care of it!"
And finally Zian agreed because of Joana. When Jongdae and Zian were busy in practice, Joana brought lunch for them or sometimes they went out to eat altogether. They started becoming opened to each other.
Jongdae helped Zian to hold onto herself and supported her while they had their practice going on.
There were moments when Jongdae kept looking at Zian and felt lost. Her brown hair across her shoulder, slender hands and beautiful fingers that moved over the dots over the page, he started finding rhythm in her every single thing. He kept smiling more than before when Zian was around him.
And Zian started to feel ease since Jongdae was helping her in every little single thing. As if he was babysitting her. Zian started realising that Jongdae is someone very caring and a beautiful person.
Days went away and the awaited event was there. The play was performed. Both Jongdae and Zian were doing well. They were sitting near to each other and Joana was also with them at the backstage.
Everyone was appraising Jongdae's voice as well Zian's.
And then he started singing a song that Zian had no idea about in the practice period because he never sang this one before and he tuned it by himself because technically it wasn’t a song either-
[She was a little girl
Her world was very small
A hut was nearby
For her to rest a while
The hut had magic world
That kept her getting called
And the butterflies flying around
Cotton clouds were floating, found.
--------]
"Zian! " Joana became surprised as well Zian and Joana kept saying, "Isn't it the poem you wrote, I..", Zian squeezed on her hand to make her shut.
The audience started praising, so the others from the backstage also. And Zian got tears in her eyes. All she could think how beautifully he just composed the music and sang it like it had been already a song itself! She became short in words when she wanted to praise him.
" You just made that poem into a song! I mean how did you..I'm..I'm just speechless! Just wow!", Zian had her tears of joy.
"You did bravo, Jongdae! Great!", Joana gave him a hi five.
Jongdae started blushing, scratching over his neck, " I just loved it when I heard you reciting this. And I wanted to surprise you with this. I'm so happy that you loved it Zian!"
The day was very eventful for their department. So they went home the moment the program was wrapped up.
Joana was feeling restless to ask Zian about the song.
"When did he hear that Zian? Tell me!" Joana and Zian were sitting on the bed. And Zian had to share the story.
"Ahh..he sings the poem that you like, he cares for you and all. What is going on Zian? And he was looking so damn good today! " Joana chuckled!
"Joan, stop your bullshit, ok? You and your all stories!!"
"No seriously! Let me give you his facial geography!", Joana became so enthusiastic, " His wavy golden brown hair is neatly brushed always, his dreamy beautiful eyes and sophisticated voice are pretty enough to woo away girls. His pale skin becomes pink when he blushes and he keeps scratching his neck. The sound of his laughter resembles to any joyful kid. He looks so squishy then, trust me!
The sound of his laughter resembles to any joyful kid. He looks so squishy then, trust me! And he was wearing matching with you, white", Joana made a stop.
So that's how does he look, Zian kept thinking! Because she had no idea how does Jongdae look, she was just aware of how beautiful human he has been only.
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Months have passed......
One fine day Zian was listening to some music with her earphones on. She didn’t know Jongdae has come over there. He sat for few moments then tapped on her shoulder,
"What are you listening? Let me hear!"
Zian choked out and flinched when he tapped her, and she hurriedly slid her phone and earphone into her bag. Joana was observing everything but kept silence and Jongdae felt a little awkward to Zian's reaction but he didn’t say anything.
"Let's go to library guys, I have to issue some books." Joana tried to avoid the awkwardness that was forming.
Zian got up but tripped and she tried to find something to hold onto and she clenched Jongdae's sleeve hem. Jongdae wanted to hold her from falling but he didn’t touch her. And Joana took care of her. An awkwardness between Zian and Jongdae was vivid by then.
A few days later Jongdae wanted to speak to Zian, alone. So Joana let them to. Though Zian was feeling a little uncomfortable,
"Yes, tell me please?"
"Did I do any mistake Zian, which made you upset?" he sounded so gloomy.
"No! Why would you? But why are you asking?" Zian got surprised to his question.
"You never call out my name, and you feel awkward when I'm around you. Something is wrong there!" the sadness was overpowering on his voice.
Zian stood still and she was struggling with her words. Finally she spoke, "There's nothing like that. You’ve got some misunderstanding. I'm getting late. I should leave now." Zian took few steps and fell on the ground. Jongdae ran to her, stretched his hand but she screamed, calling Joana's name. Joana saw everything from a far and she was just coming towards Zian. Joana ran to her, got Zian up from the ground. Joana looked at Jongdae for a few seconds and then left the place along with Zian.
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"I just want to know everything Zian, like E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!" Joana demanded to know. Zian finally spoke to her.
"And you know what, I wanted to ask you the same question which is very obvious -why don't you call him by his name, Zian?"
Zian started struggling with her tears, "Because, If I start calling him by his name, I'll start missing him more!", tears rolled down and she didn’t care to wipe off.
"Oh my poor baby! I had this hunch for so long. I wanted to ask you but I was scared if I might hurt you asking this. And it's absolutely ok to love. And he is so loving. I've seen him, you’ve realised it.", Joana sat infront of her, on her knees and started caressing Zian's hands.
" I don't want to be pitied Joan. I can't take that, you know!"
"But he doesn’t pity you darling! I've seen his emotion for you in his damn beautiful eyes. That's so precious. Let go of your past baby. Just embrace the present and let yourself be happy!"
"How can I ruin his life Joan, how? I'll be a burden to him at some point. I don't want to ruin him, and even if he has that emotion for me, it'll burden him and weigh him down after a period of time. Oh! I can't take it anymore, Joan!
This bare truth is cutting me into pieces, inside of me. I'm feeling too suffocated to breathe Joana. I want to leave this place!" Zian buried her face into her palms and Joana drag Zian into her arms to comfort.
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"Is she alright? " Jongdae was as concerned as like he's been always.
Joana smiled weakly, "She's fine. Just taking a bit rest."
Jongdae became silent. Joana broke the silence, "You love her, right?"
Jongdae startled and looked at her.
"Yes, you do! ”, Joana sighed.
" Let me tell you the other part of her story! She was in a relationship. They both applied for scholarship to study abroad. But that accident happened to her and everything was ruined. The guy broke up with her. And she was in devastation. The one she loved, left her just like this! So she can't have any pity in her life Jongdae!"
"Pity? Do you think I've ever pitied her? She didn’t even give me a chance to express what I've felt for her! Fine! I don't want to!" Jongdae was looking otherway. Joana knew it was legit for him to react also.
"She doesn’t want to hurt herself neither to hurt you! She doesn't want you to be bothered. Please try to understand! Don't hate her", Joana pleaded to him.
"I will not make things hard for her as she only thought of herself, the way she wanted to figure out by herself! Jongdae left Joana there.
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To be continued.
Selfish
Chapter 4
"Don't you get bored keep listening to this, like everyday?"
"It boosts me up somehow Joan. And I love it way too much!", Zian smiled at Joan.
" Girl, you're still...anyway. Text me, I'll pick you up,ok?"
"Yeah, sure!", Zian winked at Joan and left.
Zian has been researching on literature for past two years. And is going to be enlisted as the youngest researcher in her department.
Life goes on, so she does. Life in USA is really busy. And the city New York has given her so much.
She feels thankful to every sphere of her life, whether it's been a tragedy or a gift. Coincidentally she met a surgeon in a conference over here who was looking for some patient to study on. And Dr. Joe was happy to find his patient. And Zian went through a surgery, that had 50/50 chance for her to recover. And miraculously, it was a success! Everything seemed like surreal to her!
She doesn’t wear sunglass anymore, even not on a sunny scorching day! She let the sun kiss on her eyes.
In the afternoon Joana went to Zian's research centre and they headed for shopping. Joana got busy into a jewellery shop,so Zian left her there and moved forward to a book shop. One of the books fell on the ground from her hand and a passersby picked it up for her.
"Thank you!", she smiled at the passerby while he was about to pass.
And he replied," That's ok!", and their eyes met.
"Do you know me?", he asked.
" Umm.." Zian hesitated for a second and he said, "Never mind!" and he left.
Zian was choked and her heart was heaving.
"Zian! Why are you here? Ahh, books! Wait, what happened? " Joana shook her when she found Zian was lost!
Zian mumbled something but Joana couldn’t hear, so she shook her again, "What happened Zian?"
"I..I guess I just met Jongdae!", she mumbled, her eyes became moist.
" Damn! What? Where? I mean how can you be so sure? You never saw him! Didn’t even want to see his photo!" Joana kept looking for Jongdae.
"I know his voice Joan, I know his voice. I'm sure it was him!", she covered her mouth.
" Did you ask him?"
"NO!", Zian was lost.
" You silly! Damn! You should've! Let's look for him! Let's go Zian!"
She started dragging Zian.
"We can't find him here in the crowd! He's gone!" tears took place already in her beautiful eyes.
"But we should meet him, at least for once. Come on!", Joana looked for Jongdae.
Zian took some steps forward and froze. She screamed with her utmost energy and called out his name,
"K I M J O N G D A E!"
And took a few more steps forward and did it again. And Joana was shocked at Zian's sudden reaction. And the people in the mall was shocked as well.
Zian sat on her knees on the floor and started sobbing, covering her face with her hands.
"It took so long Zian, right?" a voice kept walking towards her.
Zian looked up and found Jongdae was standing in front of her. That wavy hair, and dreamy eyes with a little overpowering sadness over there. He hesitated for a second but stretched his hand towards her, "Come on, get up! People are watching and they might clap for us for getting some other vibe!", he chuckled.
"Hey Jongdae, what's up?" Joana came forward when Zian took his hand to get up.
"I'm good Joana. Hope you're too!"
Zian was feeling so awkward after doing such a thing and she couldn’t meet her eyes with him.
"Let's have coffee!" Joana tried to ease the awkwardness among them. She was also feeling awkward as she had to say Jongdae once not to ask for Zian anymore. Because she had no choice since Zian got so mad at her. So Joana had to!
They were sitting in a coffee shop.
"I'm really happy to see you girls here! And it's a surprise to see your recovery! Happy for you", he carefully skipped taking Zian's name.
Zian smiled awkwardly, "Thanks. Yeah it happened that way. Lucky me! Umm..you're here, for some corporate purpose? " since Jongdae was in a formal get up so she threw the random question.
"Yeah, I came here for a corporate meeting and then ended up in the mall for shopping a little." he smiled awkwardly.
"How are your parents by the way?"
Zian asked.
"They're ok. Though mom isn't doing that well."
"So Jongdae does shopping also! What did you buy? Show me!" Joana took a sip of coffee and tried to pull his leg.
He slid his hand in his pocket and brought a box. And Zian got a call right at that moment!
The phone kept ringing...
[She was a little girl
Her world was very small
A hut was nearby
For her to rest a while...]
And she hurriedly made it silent and went to attend the call and Jongdae was startled and couldn’t find any word!
"How does she have this song?" He managed himself to ask Joana.
Joana was looking at the box, "Well, she told me to record it in the event! And you don't know but she has been listening to it from then till now! And you remember, once you wanted to listen what she was listening but she didn't let you? It was this." Joana sighed!
"The poem she wrote, I know! " Jongdae smiled miserably.
"How do you know I wrote this by the way?" Zian came back.
"Joana was talking about it that day!", Jongdae chuckled.
" Yeah, right! She has a big mouth with loud voice as well!", Zian rolled her eyes at Joana and she shrugged. And they all started laughing.
And the box caught Zian's glance.
"Oh, congratulations!", she tried to smile.
" Oh, this! I'm just doing this for mom, nothing else!" Jongdae tapped his finger over the box, lost in somewhere.
An awkwardness was eating up all of them.
They tried to chitchat a little about their lives but the conversation couldn’t go further.
"We should leave now, Jongdae!", Zian took a pause before calling his name. " I wish you a very happy and beautiful life ahead!", Zian bit her lip, and tried to smile. Her heart was struggling to win the battle between tears and the fake smile she put on her lips.
"I was happy then when I found the rythm on the brail, my life was beautiful then!" Jongdae looked into Zian's eyes straight away but Zian looked the other way. She couldn’t figure out what to say!
They came out on the street and waited for the cab.
"What will you do now?" Joana asked Jongdae before getting into the cab.
"I'll stroll a little and will have some fresh air!", he smiled, " take care, both of you!"
The girls got into the car and it started moving, Jongdae kept looking at them for few seconds and then started walking on his way.
"Zian, I beg you. Stop hurting each other. Just run to him!"
"I can't! He's moved already! " Zian tried hard to hold onto her tears!
"Are you dumb or what! He still loves you idiot! You hurt him and that's why he couldn't say anymore! Just run to him! You guys still have a chance! " Joana screamed at her, "Please stop the car, bro! Just get out of the car, Zian! " Joana paid the bill and pushed Zian out of the car.
Zian hesitated for a second and then started running like crazy towards the direction Jongdae was walking. And Joana followed her.
Zian took a turn to her left and saw a glimpse of Jongdae in the crowd. She started running on her heels as fast as she could.
"Stop!", her lungs were out of air when she clenched the hem of Jongdae's shirt and he was choked to death looking at her!
" What happened? What are you doing here!" Jongdae got a grip on her arms.
"Can I be a little selfish, Jongdae?" she stopped struggling with her tears anymore and let them flow.
Jongdae stood still, being so blank!
"I want to hold your hand, I wanted to back then, every single time when I missed you!" She bit her lips and didn’t care if the tears were rolling down on her cheeks.
Jongdae pulled her into his arms and hugged tightly, tears rolled down from his eyes when he whispered into her ear, "You were selfish back then, killing your heart and mine as well. Now you've taken a step for self love, Zian! "
"I love you, Jongdae. I really do!"
"I've loved you more my little girl!" he pecked on her forehead.
Joana wiped off her tears, smiling at them from a little far. And inhaled the fresh air of the unknown city where the known faces were brought together..
🍂The End🍂
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